I Don't Know How To Life

I was tired long ago, now I am tattered

How do you all deal with it all? When the journey gets overwhelming, and the back can’t carry the baggage anymore? How do you all get free from the whelms of it all?

How do you all untangle yourselves from its hold? Is it work or school you turn to? A therapist of choice? A drug? A song that reminds you of how it feels to be alive? A loved one whose touch and smile remind you of the love that still exists around you? A friend that will listen until your voice turns hushed A conversation with the Holy Spirit? A bike ride outside with the wind on your face?

I am anxious about being anxious. I have tried this journal and paper ones too. I have listened to podcasts that promised relief. Much hasn’t changed. So what do you all do?

Everything feels heavier; every anxiety cuts deeper. Every decision seems to carry more weight. Every mistake lasts longer. Is this the nightmare of adulthood? Of feeling that you could be stuck? You could be lost. Feeling behind. How will these dreams align with this reality? That realization has been leaving a lot of pain, and I can’t locate an antidote. So hey, what do yall do?